FML.  Plus I am just too stressed out and angry and depressed to really even have anything to say at the moment.  So goodnight followers, I hope you’re all doing better than I am tonight 

xxx

naive-01 asked: It's so sad that the person who you're supposed to rely on behaves like that. I'm in a similar position, but I rarely let myself get depressed. I haven't talked to my father in 6 months. And I don't even think about him, like ever... So my point is that you should just ignore him because he isn't even worth it.I'm sure he will one day regret all of this, like my father does now, but I don't give a shit...:] Stay positive, you won't always have to depend on him :}} Hugs

Aw I’m sorry about your dad :( At least he realizes he was wrong finally. (not that it can erase the damage he’s already done) Thank you for this message, I know you’re right & he isn’t worth it!  It still hurts though and it’s hard having to be around him every day.  I’m trying to do things on my own and avoid contact with him as much as possible.  Still though, sometimes it can’t be avoided.  Hopefully one day I’ll be able to cut him out of my life even though I doubt he’ll ever really see or care about the damage he’s done to me already.  

Take care sweetie!! xxx 

wo-nderland:

Dear person I hate,

Dear person I like,

Dear ex-best friend,

Dear best friend,

Dear *anyone*,

Dear Santa,

Dear Mum,

Dear Dad,

Dear future me,

Dear past me,

Dear person I’m jealous of,

Dear person I had a crush on,

I had finally cheered myself up and was watching funny videos on youtube.  It felt good to laugh and feel better.  Then my dad came barging into my room screaming at me to turn the volume down and that he told me 3 times already.  I apologized and said I didn’t hear him which was the truth.  He went into his crazed rage mode and began shouting throughout the house that I am a big fat liar.  ”You’re a LIAR.  LIAR.  A big FAT liar.”  He always calls me names but for some reason ‘big FAT liar’ always pisses me off the most.  Now I’m sitting here even more depressed than before.  He makes me want to kill myself.  

I’m just filled with so much self loathing.  I couldn’t even bother getting ready because I didn’t want to look in the mirror.  I’m so fat and ugly.  I could have gone to see Christmas lights downtown with my man but I canceled.  Now he’s at the bar and I’m here pissed off at everyone in general but I know deep down inside the anger is really at myself.  I ate like the obese cow that I am all day and laid in bed.  I’ll never be good enough for anyone if I continue on like this.  It pisses me off I have to try so god damn hard to look good while other people wake up in the morning looking effortlessly beautiful.  It takes me a good 45 minutes to an hour to get ready every day.  I could never go out without touching my hair or putting on makeup.  I have to tan and wear extensions and eyeliner and be starving myself before I can even feel remotely decent.  Even then I still feel ugly and not good enough.  I fucking hate being a girl.  I think tomorrow I’m going on a fruit and veggie fast till Christmas.  I’d rather just have nothing but I know it’s better to eat a little than not at all.